


There's More Under My Hat...

by allamchick



Series: The Frendeavour Relationship [1]
Category: Endeavour (TV)
Genre: Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-07
Updated: 2013-05-07
Packaged: 2017-12-10 18:11:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/788645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allamchick/pseuds/allamchick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Thursday grieves for his late wife, he gives in to the temptations Morse provides. And Morse is happy to oblige.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fred Thursday

Detective Inspector Fred Thursday awoke to rain pattering against his bedroom window in a steady, monotonous tattoo. It would figure. A solid week of sunshine and now today, of all days, rain. Today, the day he was returning to work. He glanced at the clock on his bedside table. Four forty-five am. The alarm wouldn't go off for another couple of hours, but Fred didn't feel like going back to sleep. He shut the alarm and headed for the loo. Might as well get ready for the day.

His beloved Win was gone. Succumbed to the horrible illness that wracked her body for months. It was both a loss and a blessing. A loss to the family she left behind. A blessing to her, now that the pain was gone and she could rest. But Fred's thoughts were selfish, and he wished he could have more time with her.

After he washed and dressed, he went downstairs and made coffee. Win and the children preferred tea in the morning, but Win always made a pot of coffee just for Fred. She would pack what he didn't drink in a thermos for him to take to work, along with his sandwich and a treat, like her homemade cookies or a slice of her lovely apple cake. She took care of Fred. He would miss her terribly.

Fred had married later in life, at the advanced age of 35, when other men were celebrating 10-year anniversaries and welcoming their third child. He was focusing on his career at the time, working his way up the ranks with diligence and concentrated effort. But when Win came along twenty five years ago, Fred was smitten, not just by her looks but by her. Of course, her emerald green eyes, petite stature, and soft brown hair took his breath away. But she was also graceful, soft-spoken, and sweet. Intelligent but not boastful. Truly wonderful to be around. And she adored Fred in his army captain's uniform. Fred wasn't used to the new feelings bubbling up within him, and he thought that the only thing for it was to propose. She accepted, much to Fred's delight. She gave him two lovely children, Sam and Joan, and years of happiness. He sipped his coffee and sighed again. What would he do without her?

Sam and Joan. What would they do without her? They needed their mother, more a friend than a parent at this stage in life. Sam had just turned 20 and had made a career with the army. Joan was 18 and a clerk in their local bank. Neither lived at home, and the house resounded with silence now that Win was gone, too. Fred clicked on the radio, hoping some idle chatter would fill his ears enough to dull the loneliness. It did, for a bit. But not enough.

And then there was young Endeavour Morse, the newest member of the force who had become Fred's bag man without climbing the usual ranks, and "the governor" wasn't happy about that. Superintendent Bright was giving Fred a hard time about Endeavour's very existence, demoting the newcomer back to general duties. But Endeavour was stubborn, plowing ahead on cases, and Fred struggled between supporting the lad and doing his duty to the force. But he couldn't think about that. He had to focus on getting through the day.

Still, Endeavour Morse kept popping into his head, muscling his way into whatever thought Fred was entertaining at the moment. Especially since that morning in the sitting room, when Endeavour had held a crying Fred in his arms. Endeavour, with his large blue eyes and crooked smile. His light brown hair and pale skin. His sharp cheekbones and prominent chin. His thick accent and the way he sometimes said "Thursday" without pronouncing the H. 

"Not this. Not now," Fred growled to himself and took another sip of his coffee, which had grown cold.

Fred tried to dispel the thoughts of Endeavour which had plagued him since the lad started on the force. Just glimpses of things, really, nothing formed. Endeavour smiling as he drove Fred around in the Jag. The way Endeavour would hop from foot to foot when he was in a hurry. Endeavour's hands, slim and pale but strong enough to lift several times his own weight. Enough. Enough! And anyway, what would a promising young police officer with his entire life in front of him want with a jaded old DI who was graying at the temples and knocking on the door of 60? A man with grown children and more years behind than ahead. Fred would be retiring in 5 years, but in 5 years, Endeavour's star would shine. No, best to stop that line of thinking now.

"Who are you kidding, Thursday. It's who you are. Part of you. Even Win couldn't chase it away." The thought startled Fred.

Fred had fancied the lads ever since he could remember, knowing it was wrong but unable to stop feeling it. He became a police officer because all of the men in his family were police officers. It was expected of him. He took to it well and quickly, earning respect and accolades at a young age. But it was tough work, especially since Fred looked at his colleagues with a bit more than work on his mind. He hid it well, he had no choice, but it was difficult. And then the war began and he was cooped up with his troop mates, which was an even harder affair. He married Win because he truly loved her, but he also felt a sense of duty and a desire to quell those dangerous feelings. But even with Win he sometimes ached for a man in his bed. As much as he fancied her, and he truly did, sex with Win was never fully satisfying. 

"Christ, Thursday, enough already." He dumped out his cold coffee and made lunch for himself. And for Morse. The lad would be around soon with the car.


	2. Endeavour Morse

Endeavour drove the Jag carefully down a side street as he headed for Fred Thursday's house. Rain spattered the wind screen, making visibility dodgy. He wondered how his boss would be able to get through the day, still grieving as he was over his wife's death. Endeavour had grown fond of Mrs. Thursday in a motherly way. She made him his lunch, same as Fred's, and the two would play the anticipation game as they nursed a pint in the pub.

"What do you think it is today, Morse?" Fred would ask with an eye roll and a wink.

"Don't know, sir. What day is it?"

"None of that now, young man. Anticipation's half the fun!"

They'd laugh as they unfolded the wax paper, exclaiming, "What do you know, cheese and pickle!" As if it really were a surprise that Monday's lunch would be cheese and pickle.

Endeavour also had an open invitation to game night, when some of the Thursday's friends would gather at their house to play cards or charades, and he showed up most times. Mrs. Thursday had told him to call her Win, although he never would out of respect and a sense of duty. He would miss her.

One day, about a week after Mrs. Thursday had passed away, he visited his boss to see if he needed anything and found him crying in the sitting room. Endeavour had gently sat next to him and pulled him down in a comforting embrace. Fred was taller and bulkier than Endeavour, but the grieving man did not resist and slid down easily into Endeavour's arms. He cried for almost 20 minutes, sobs wracking his body. Endeavour said nothing, merely held him, and let the man grieve. That was when Endeavour knew, and it startled him and frightened him.

He had fallen for his boss.

Those feelings, when one man longed for another, were not only against nature, they were against the law. And Endeavour was the law. But still, when he thought of Fred Thursday - his dark brown eyes and thick, wavy hair, his broad shoulders and sturdy hands - that unnameable place between the chest and stomach fluttered and zinged, and his trousers became a bit tighter. How could he work with the man when underneath his skin throbbed desire and longing and pure, sweet lust?

He didn't know.

What would Fred Thursday think of him if he found out he wanted him in a sexual way? Would he be repulsed? More than likely. His boss would probably fire him out of disgust and disappointment. Who could blame him? To be a queer was an abomination. It was just plain wrong. All the doctors said so.

Morse rounded a corner and saw the Thursday's house. He pulled up to the curb and stopped the Jag. His heart was hammering. He stared at the front door as if he expected it to explode or change color. 

"Be calm," he said to himself. "He won't know unless you tell him. And you will never do that."

He left the car and walked to the front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of my first fan fiction!


	3. Lapse of Judgment

"Come in out of the rain, Morse. I'll get my mac." 

Endeavor crossed the threshold of the Thursday home with trepidation, closing the door behind him. Did it show, how he felt? Could his boss see?

"Coffee?" Fred offered.

"No, thank you, Sir. Are you feeling up to this?"

Morse watched as Fred dithered a moment, looking lost.

"Sir, are you alright?"

"No."

He leaned on the wall for support.

"What will I do without her, Morse?"

Endeavour smiled.

"You'll soldier on, sir. Strong as you are, you'll make it. It may take time, but you'll see the other side of it. If not for you, for your kids. For Mrs. Thursday. For the job. You'll find a reason, sir."

It was Fred's turn to smile. Endeavour noticed that the bridge of Fred's nose crinkled when he smiled.

"You have a way with words, Morse."

Endeavour shuffled his feet and looked away. He was blushing.

Fred continued. "I never thanked you for what you did that day, when you found me in the sitting room. I was falling apart and you held me together. Much obliged, Morse."

"Anytime, sir."

Fred felt a frisson of electricity course his spine and something in him broke. All those months when Win was sick. Months of want. Of need. Of life without touch. Months of loneliness.

"How about now?" he asked Endeavour, who looked at his boss as if the man had lost his mind.

"Um, sir?" he asked tentatively. 

"You said anytime. Would now be okay?"

"Oh, well, um, do you mean, um, what do you mean, sir?"

Fred pushed away from the wall and beckoned Endeavour to follow him to the sitting room. He sat on the couch and motioned for Endeavour to sit next to him. 

"When you held me, I felt supported. Like I could get through anything. Would you do that for me again, Morse? Just hold me. Like you did that day. Just for a few minutes. I could tackle the day afterward."

How could Endeavour refuse his boss? He opened his arms and Fred nestled within his embrace. Endeavour was warm and smelled of soap and fresh spring rain. Fred smelled like warm morning coffee and after shave. The comforting, familiar smells of each other wrapped around the pair like a blanket. Suddenly, both men felt it. They felt the jolt of electricity and the movement of the Earth under their feet.

They felt attraction.

Slowly, so as not to scare the lad, Fred lifted his head and looked into Endeavour's eyes. They were huge, round, and questioning. Fred leaned forward and pressed a brief, closed-mouth kiss to Endeavour's lips.

He kissed back!

Fred smiled as he pulled away.

"Do you feel it, too?" he asked, amazed. 

Endeavour smiled broadly. He stared back into Fred's dark, glistening eyes and melted. "Yes, sir. I feel it, too. I have for some time now. But.."

"But? But what, Morse?"

"But it's wrong, isn't it, sir? It's against nature. It's against the law..."

"None of that! It's not against nature to be who and what you are. It's against nature to live a lie. I loved Win, and I'll miss her. But I'm tired of denying my true self. I want something pure. Something real."

"What if people find out? We'll be in deep then, sir. It's still against the law."

Fred sighed. Endeavour was right.

"So we'll make sure nobody finds out. That is, if you're willing. You said you've felt it for some time..."

"Yes, sir. Since that day I first held you. Probably before that. Maybe even since the day I met you."

"Then allow me..."

Fred kissed Endeavor again, this time deeper, his tongue twining around Endeavour's as their mouths opened wider. Endeavour smoothed his hand along Fred's back. Then suddenly the lad pulled away.

"Sir, please. I want to, believe me I do. My heart says yes. But my head, well, it's telling me to stop. You're my boss. We work together. We're men. We shouldn't..."

Fred pulled away and rose quickly, perhaps too quickly. Endeavour wanted to pull him back but he was already adjusting his tie and suit jacket. And his trousers.

"I'm sorry, Morse. I've been fighting these feelings almost all my life, and then when Win was sick, I was lonely. And I guess I got tired of fighting. And well, you seemed....I'm sorry. We'd better get a move on."

"Sir..." Endeavour began, not sure what would come out of his mouth. Fred watched him struggle for words.

"Steady on, Morse. We need never speak of this again. A momentary lapse of judgment on my part, nothing more. Loneliness will do strange things to a man. I'm sorry I took it out on you. Won't happen again, you have my word."

"Yes, sir," Morse muttered as he stood, still tasting Fred's coffee on his lips. He licked them unconsciously, the morning's promise left in tatters on the sitting room couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of my first fan fiction!


	4. Once More, With Feeling

Weeks passed and Endeavour and Fred didn't talk about the incident, as they both came to regard it. They worked well together, as usual, and went their separate ways of an evening. But Endeavour thought about it more and more. And he made a decision.

The doorbell rang one Tuesday night, which was always soup night in the Thursday household. Fred set down the soup bowl he was drying and went to answer the door. Endeavour stood on the threshold, hands in his pockets.

"Alright, Morse?" Fred asked curiously. "Thought you had choir practice this evening?"

"Sir, I was hoping we could talk, if you could spare the time."

"Don't stand on ceremony. Come in, then."

Endeavour stepped into the house. It was warm and smelled of chicken soup and fresh coffee.

"Get you some tea? Coffee?" Fred offered. Endeavour shook his head. "Well then," Fred continued, "shall we?" He pointed toward the sitting room and Endeavour stepped through. He sat on the couch, Fred sitting in a chair opposite.

"What's on your mind?" Fred asked. Endeavour hadn't been in the sitting room with him since that morning they kissed, and Fred realized how uncomfortable he suddenly felt. The air was too thick, or perhaps too warm. Endeavour had seemed at ease working with Fred. But something in the lad's eyes now made Fred nervous.

"I wanted to talk to you about this thing between us, sir. I mean, that morning we kissed..."

"I told you, it was a lapse of judgment on my part, Morse. It would never happen again. I've kept my word. Here now, are you uncomfortable working with me?"

" A bit, sir, but..."

"Do you want a transfer? Or perhaps you want retribution?" Fred nodded to himself as if that explanation made more sense. "All I ask is that you don't cause a scandal. I'm thinking of the department and my children. No need for charges, I won't make a fuss. I'll step down quietly, if that's what you prefer. I'm close to retirement, and with Win gone nobody would question it."

Endeavour stared at Fred in disbelief. He shook his head.

"That's not why I'm here, sir."

"I never meant any harm toward you, Morse. You're a good lad. I don't want you to have to work in discomfort. You have your whole career ahead of you, and a bright one at that. I've had my time, lots of good years. I just want to be remembered for my work, not for what happened with us. Tell me what you want me to do."

"I want you to kiss me again, sir."

It was Fred's turn to stare at Endeavour in disbelief.

"Now you're just taking the piss, young man."

"No, sir. Not at all. I'm uncomfortable with you because I care about you, and I had the chance with you that morning and I made a dog's breakfast of it. I want to try again. If you do, sir."

Fred eyed him suspiciously. "What changed your mind?"

Endeavour smiled. "When Bright called me in yesterday to give me a talking to, and you stood by me even though it could have been your head on the chopping block. Nobody ever did that for me. Only you, sir. You're a good man. I don't know how we'll work this or where it will lead, but I don't have anyone in my life. I'd be a fool not to let in a good person when so much of my life is spent with the bad ones. And well, you're quite the kisser, sir."

Fred laughed, throwing his head back and clapping his hands.

"Quite the kisser! That's alright, Morse. That's gold."

Fred joined Endeavour on the couch and smiled warmly.

"I'm very willing, Morse. We can start slow. Get to know each other. People round here know you stop by of an evening, so there's no suspicion. We'll think of ways to do this."

"Yes, sir," Endeavour replied with a smile of his own.

"You can call me Fred here, if you like."

Endeavour thought a moment.

"With all due respect, there's something about calling you sir. It feels good on my tongue."

Fred couldn't resist. His voice became a smoky whisper against Endeavour's ear.

"Shall we see what else feels good on your tongue, Endeavour?"

"Yes, sir."

They kissed greedily, passionately, permission hanging in the air to do so much more. Fred wrapped his arms around Endeavour's slim waist and pulled him close. Endeavour wrapped his arms around Fred's broad shoulders and did not resist. They stayed that way for long minutes, their mouths slotted tightly together and their arms tugging each other close. The clock chimed eight o'clock, and Fred pulled away.

"Shall we?" he panted hopefully, nodding in the direction of the stairs.

Endeavour bit his lip, but nodded eagerly.

"Not my room, though, if it's all the same," Fred continued. "We have a small guest room. Is that alright? Only because, well, Win and I, it's our bed...."

"Of course, sir. It's your home. Whatever makes you comfortable."

"Thank you, Endeavor."

The two walked up the steps to a small back room and closed the door behind them. And so began the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of my first fan fiction!


	5. The Evening

They undressed each other until they were both in their pants, sitting on the bed, unsure of the next step. Endeavour looked away, both embarrassed and overwhelmed. Fred inched closer and cupped the lad's chin in his large hand.

"Alright there, Endeavour?"

"Yes, I'm alright. I just don't quite know what to do."

"For starters, call me Fred. It's been ages since I heard my name, I mean, that way."

Fred leaned forward and kissed Endeavour once more, and this time Endeavour moaned into Fred's mouth. When they parted, he said, "Shall we remove our pants, Fred?"

Fred smiled. "Oh, yes, about time."

Endeavour stood and pushed his pants down, kicking them free across the room. He then reached for Fred and helped him push down his own pants, admiring his well-defined stomach and impressive erection. 

"Not too shabby for an old fogey," Fred said with a wink, slapping his palms against his stomach.

"You're not old, sir. Still in your prime."

"We'll see, won't we."

As they lay on the bed, Fred said in as serious a tone as he could muster, "Oi, mind you don't get yourself in the family way. I couldn't afford another child on my salary!"

Endeavour chuckled. "I have no doubt you'd do your duty by me."

"I want to do more than that. Much more."

Fred leaned close and kissed Endeavour, his tongue thoroughly exploring the lad's mouth. Tentatively, Endeavour placed a gentle hand on Fred's chest, over his heart, feeling it pound against his palm. 

_I'm doing this to him. Me!_ Endeavour thought happily.

As they kissed, Fred let his free hand trail down Endeavour's lean chest and toned stomach, down to his erection, which was also impressive. He lightly stroked the hard, warm flesh, until Endeavour moaned with need. Fred smiled and pulled his mouth away to trail biting kisses down Endeavour's pale neck to his chest, wrapping eager lips around a soft pink nipple.

"Oh, yes, I like that," Endeavour moaned, tangling his hands through Fred's hair and pulling his head closer. As Fred sucked, he continued stroking Endeavour's erection gently, teasingly, feeling it harden under his touch.

"I never dreamed...I can't believe....." Endeavour stammered. "It's real. This is real."

"Yes," Fred agreed, pulling his mouth from Endeavour's nipple to tap gentle kisses up his chest and lick his chin, stubble lightly tickling his tongue. "Real. Ours." He kissed Endeavour's lips again and sighed. "I want you."

"I want you, too, sir. Oh, I mean, Fred." Endeavour smiled and blushed.

"Call me what you like. Anything. Just make love with me. We can use our hands. Our mouths. No need to go any further this time."

"I want..." Endeavour began, blushing again.

"What? What do you want? Tell me what you like." Fred encouraged him with a gentle kiss to the cheek.

"I want to watch you. Watch your face. Take you with my hand and watch you as you finish. I want to watch what I do to you. Please, sir."

Fred moaned. He couldn't help it. It had been so long.

"God. Yes. How do you want me?"

Endeavour pushed lightly against Fred's hip.

"On your back. There you go."

Endeavour kissed Fred passionately as he let his hand crawl along his boss's chest, teasing his nipples, tickling his stomach, then cupping the head of his erection, already weeping precome. Fred groaned.

"Oh, God. Yes. Oh, ohhhh..."

Endeavour had scooted down and taken Fred's cock in his mouth, moistening it with his tongue.

"You'd better hurry on up here," Fred growled, "unless you want a mouthful!"

Endeavour shimmied back up and took Fred's slick erection in hand, tugging hard and fast. He watched, rapt, as Fred's face changed from need to bliss to abandon, his mouth slack and his eyes scrunched shut. Moans and growls escaped his lips, a litany of "ohs" and "ahs" until he gasped and cried out "Endeavour!" He came all over Endeavour's hand and shot onto his own stomach. Endeavour kissed him on the cheek as he continued to stroke him through the aftershocks. Finally, Fred put his hand over Endeavour's to still his movement.

"Christ," Fred gasped, snapping his eyes open and blinking at the ceiling.

"Did I, I mean, was that..." Endeavour began.

Fred quieted him with a deep, open-mouthed kiss.

"Your turn," he murmured against Endeavour's lips.

"Should you clean up?" Endeavour asked, but Fred was already down the bed, his face next to Endeavour's erection, his tongue darting out to take a tentative taste. Endeavour moaned. "Are you...will you...?"

"I want to take you in my mouth and taste you as you come down my throat. Alright, Endeavour?"

"Oh," Endeavour gasped, unconsciously canting his hips up toward Fred's mouth.

Fred plunged his mouth onto Endeavour's stiff cock, stopping about half way and wrapping his large hand around the base. He coordinated sliding his lips along the shaft and head with squeezing the base, setting a speedy rhythm. Endeavour moaned and arched his back, his hand finding Fred's hair and carding his fingers through the waves.

"This won't take long," Endeavour groaned. "Oh, God, almost there, so close..."

Fred quickened his pace. Endeavour cried out Fred's name as he came down his throat, after shocks almost as strong as his orgasm. Fred held his hips down until he settled.

"Oh," Endeavour sighed. "That was...amazing."

Fred joined him and pulled him into a tight embrace. Any regrets would come quickly and he wanted to be sure Endeavour felt cared for and, most of all, loved.

"Alright there, Endeavour?"

Endeavour chuckled. "Yes, sir. You?"

"Better than alright."

They remained quiet until Endeavour said, "Will we be alright at work, sir?"

Fred sighed. He expected this question.

"Here's what may change," he began. "We may worry more about each other. We can't let that show. I will still be hard on you - no pun intended!" he grumbled when Endeavour snickered at those words. "I will be tough on you, because Lord knows Bright will be. Business as usual."

"Yes, sir," Endeavour murmured, chuckling as he kissed Fred's cheek.

"And none of that and all," Fred grumbled with a smile. "And oi, you'll still have to fetch me in the morning. "

"I'll leave early, go home and change, go get the car and come back for you."

Fred sighed. "That's an awful load for you."

"You're worth it, sir."

"You could stop in when you drop me off after work and leave that evening. We could have dinner first. That would be easier," Fred said with a nod.

"I like that. I'd like us to have dinner together. But leaving early isn't as nice as sleeping in," Endeavour replied, hugging Fred tighter.

"I'll look better for the neighbors," Fred suggested.

"I suppose. Alright, sir, if you think that's best."

"I do. But not tonight. Tonight, I want you with me."

Endeavour murmured his agreement and kissed Fred on the lips. Fred moaned.

"Mmm, you're not such a bad kisser yourself, young man. Oh..." Fred leaned over Endeavour and grabbed a clock from the bedside table.  
"Better set the alarm. Can't have us being late. Bright would hang us both out to dry."

"True, sir." Endeavour wriggled a bit and smiled. "I think I could use a wash. Fancy a shower?"

"A shower? Well, I should clean up and all. Go on, then, I'll be right there."

The sound of the shower was music to Fred Thursday's ears. He smiled and whistled to himself, anticipating a glorious repeat of their activities. He didn't know where it would all lead, either, but for the first time in months, he wasn't alone and he wasn't lonely. He headed for the shower and Endeavour, ready to step into the unknown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of my first fan fiction!

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think of my first fan fiction!


End file.
